Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Figs

Dad: I don't know wha' hoppened! My feegs - dey are so small.

Me: Umm... your feegs? Should we be discussing this?

Dad: Last year... dey were so big! You shoulda SEEN the size of my feegs last year!

Me: I don't know if that woulda been such a good idea

(phone call to mom)

Me: Mom... daddy's talking about the size of his figs!

Mom: Oh...yeh... daddy used to have such nice figs! Big ones!

Me: (click)

Dad: Da neighbors...dey all want my feegs. Dey MY feegs! I tell dem... dey no good this year! Dey small! I showed dem my feegs.

Me: Uh... do you really think you should be showing your figs around the neighborhood? I mean... you're only asking for trouble.

Dad: I feel bad for da old guy, Nick, across da street. He loves my figs. I wish I could do more for him dis year...

Me: Don't you think you've done enough?

Dad: Maybe next year dey be big again.

Me: We can only hope.

Dad: At least I got a big zucchini.

And parents wonder why their kids don't eat fruits and vegetables.

posted by Joanne @ 7:50 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

You know you've been living too long with your dad when....

...you have a dream that your dad's shower is out in the backyard...and your in the shower....completely naked... in the backyard... right smack in front of the garden... and you run inside, only to bump into the short, chubby Elvis Presley lookalike who is representing your dad in your dream, and you try desperately to cover 5 feet of body with about 4-5 inches of hands...and Papa Elvis says, "It'sa ok. I'ma your daddy. I've-ah seen-ah you before."

I think Freud just rolled over in his grave...

posted by Joanne @ 10:38 AM 0 comments