Wednesday, October 02, 2002

This letter is for parents everywhere to use as a template for children who must part ways with any friends of the Stuffed-Toy race.

Inspired by true events
Dear Bunny:

Oh how I miss you so. I miss your orange belly button – at least I think it was orange – it was always kinda dirty…actually, your whole body – which I used to hug against my own - was stained with dirt. I would have probably been better off hugging a bag of garbage since it probably would’ve been less of a health hazard…but, anyways, I still miss you in spite of your lack of personal hygiene. You’re filthy yellow and blue belly brought me joy, and even though you didn’t have any feet…because your little pink, bendable appendages at some point fell off and even Dr. Mommy – who was a real specialist in bunny surgery – couldn’t reattach them – you still brought me joy. I cry at the thought of your footless existence. You were such a trooper in spite of your handicap. I barely noticed your missing eye (which was quite nightmarish now that I think about it…that asterisk-shaped eye made of black thread staring into nothingness), and your floppy ears that must’ve fallen off at least 50 times…which gave you a head the shape of a rotten peach…making you completely bald like Mister Clean since any fur you once possessed had completely fallen off….never noticed it. Even though you resembled something that had returned from Stephen King’s Pet Cematery…you still brought me such joy. I loved to snuggle up with you at night and wake to your one-eyed face, and once I stopped screaming from the nightmarish quality of that one-eye staring at me…I would kiss you. But I never noticed that you didn’t have a mouth…or a nose. Well, you kinda had a nose…but most of it had peeled off your face by the time I was 3 years old. But I knew you didn’t suffer from leprosy. You just suffered from too much loving.

So, Bunny, I know not where you are…but wherever it is…I know you’re happy.

P.S. Did you ever get that rip in your back fixed so your guts don’t pour out anymore? I hope so.

Love,
Joanne

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