In addition, another moment that made me chuckle was when Howard started ragging on Justin Timberlake (Nsync for the small percent of the population who possibly have never heard of Brillo Head). Howard said that he thinks the song “I’m Not A Girl (Not Yet A Woman)” was really written for Justin Timberlake and Brittany Spears just stole it from him. Howard goes, “He (Justin) might as well go all the way and get breast implants.”
And speaking of (no – not breast implants) Nsync, another member – Lance Bass, who’s trying to get into outerspace – was told by the Russians not to quit his day job. Apparently his backers can’t pay the gazillion dollars to send him. (Maybe we should send Justin instead. Contributions anyone? Anyone?)
And speaking of outerspace, I haven’t had any cool and exciting dreams about traveling through space or about aliens coming down to earth lately. I’ve had versions of that dream a few times, and for some reason the alien spacecrafts are always surrounded by bright and colorful fireworks. Instead, my dreams have been quite mundane. For example, I dreamt one night last week that my husband and I were at Don Pablos (a local Mexican restaurant that I’ve grown to call ‘my kitchen’ since we’re there practically every freakin’ night), and while we were there, the waiter kept asking us if we wanted more nacho chips…and we kept saying yes…and we kept eating them. How dull is that!
No dreams of espionage, action, adventure, sex…just nacho nibbling at Don Pablos. I did have a dream a few days later that someone was trying to frame me for murder, and I was lying in bed with 2 dead bodies (Freudians – please calm your twisted and disturbed minds), and there was blood all over my bedroom wall. In retrospect, I believe it was the waiter from Don Pablos trying to frame me so I couldn’t keep coming back. Bastard!
Another reoccurring dream I have is that of a huge tidal wave heading my way, but I always manage to be up high enough in some hotel room so it won’t kill me. And I’ve also dreamt a few times that I could breathe under water (maybe that’s why I’m not afraid of the tidal wave – I’m part mermaid), and, yes, even float through the air – but nothing as high-tech as what you see in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” (which is a goal of mine to learn how to move like that – would save me a lot of money on gas to get to work).
A really bizarre dream I had when I was about five years old – and it’s stayed with me ever since. I dreamt that my mom had a bunch of tiny bandaids on her face, and when she peeled them away, beneath each bandaid was an eye, so she had like 50 eyes all over her face. I’ve never looked at my mom the same again…or maybe SHE’S never looked at me the same, what with all those eyes.
Morpheus: Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world? (The Matrix)
Another bizarre dream I’ve had was about these women who were pregnant, but you could see baby aliens inside their bellies, since their bellies were made up of some clear, see-through-type skin. (I swear I don’t sniff glue or inhale paint fumes...much).
So in conclusion (BIG FLAG TO THE READER THAT THIS IS MY LAST PARAGRAPH IN CASE YOU DIDN’T CATCH ON), since I often dream of aliens and flying through outer space, and since it’s evident that my mother is an alien (just ask my husband and my brother-in-law), and since I’ve been drawn to the “X-Files” since day one, I must accept the fact that I am a martian. So I will no longer fret about my freakish ways which I now understand to be normal. Instead, I will continue to observe this race you call Human and attempt to understand its idiosyncracies.
Morpheus: What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. (The Matrix)
posted by Joanne @ 7:02 PM
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