Chapter 1: Less Than Mind-Bloggeling Thoughts

When I was little (I can’t remember how I old I was, and apparently I wasn’t smart enough to record the date), I actually finished a book I wrote entitled, “Book of World Records.” I was probably able to finish it because it had no chapters (which might be the key to getting this book-thing done). Here it is, since it’s probably one of my few completed works. It’s more effective with the pictures, but the words alone will have to do. This is posted “as-is”…no corrections on spelling or grammar…which is a bold thing for an English major to do:
 Skinnyest Man: The skinnyest man is Mike Anderson. He is 5’5” and weighs 3 pounds. He is not exactly bones yet but almost.
 Longest Note: Maryann Johnson started singing an she held the note for 1 month without stopping. Others have tried but there was know success. The other longest note was held for 18 days.
 Longest Jump: The longest jump was made by Elaine Martin. She jumped 80 feet. From her house to the other block. Others have tried but no sucess.
 Oldest Man: The oldest man is 150 years old. His name is John Alpo. The second oldest person was 130 but died.
 Longest Sleeper: Elizabeth Airline slept for 10 days. When she woke up she was still tired. Some others that have tried didn’t success.
 Longest Arm: Longest arm is 15 feet long. His name is Mark Wilson. He was born with a 5 foot arm. Now he is 10. His cloths have to be made seperate.
 Oldest Building: In Newyork City the oldest building still stands. It is 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 years old. It was built by Curva Mooma. He died at the age 90. No pieces were replaced.
(Note on the picture: Made up of water, sand and mud)
 Smartest Children: The Jason twins Caroll and John solved the problem 1,501,210,111 divided by 2,801,666=? In 14 sec. In there head.
 Smallest Plane: The smallest plane is 18 in. long 12 in. wide. The only person that can fit in is shown on the next page.
 Smallest Person: The smallest person is Caroll Manick. She is 3 in. high. When she was born she was as small as a dust speck. Her parents are both 6 ft. Shes the only one who can fit in the plane. She weighs 1 pound.
 Biggest Toe: Mark Johnson was born with an 8 ft. toe. Now he’s only 14 and his toe is 20 ft. He has to where sandles. He is 5’4”.
(The picture for this one is quite interesting.)
 Tallest People: The tallest people are Mr. And Mrs. Brown. They are both 14’5”. They were borned at 7 feet. They weigh 700 pounds.
(Note: The picture for this one compares them to an “ordinary” man and woman – 7’8” tall)
 Fatest Guy: The fatest guy weighs 8576 pounds. He is 5 feet. He hopes to gain more.
 Biggest Underwear: The biggest underwear is worn by the fatest guy in the world. The legs are 1,000 inches wide and the top is 8,000 inches.
 Longest Ears: Martha Candor has ears 5 ft. long. She is only 3 ft. and 4 years old. Sometimes she balances on her ears.
(Again…another interesting picture)
 Largest Candy bar: The largest candy bar is 8 ft. long. 7 ft. wide. It is a Milky Way. It is kept in a freezer 15 ft.
 Farthest Run: The farthest run was made by Anna Peto. She ran from her to California without stopping.
 Who ate the most spinach? John Cali ate 4 gallons of spinache in one day! He is still hungry. And he hates spinache.
 Fastest Wrighter: The fastest writer is Carla Branford. She wrote 1,000 words in a minute. Sometimes she writes 1,185.
 Biggest Glasses: The biggest glasses are 18 ft. They are so big they have to be brought in a special building.

So there you have it. My husband will occasionally ask me if I ever take anything seriously. I’ll share this with him the next time he asks and let him draw his own conclusions.

posted by Joanne @ 9:01 AM