Chapter 1: Less Than Mind-Bloggeling Thoughts

My Dad's Hole

My dad's hole has finally been filled. I don't know what he's going to do with himself for the rest of the year, but his hole is now closed.

All summer, my dad had been waiting and waiting for his cousins to come over and waterproof his basement. All summer. Did I mention all summer? Because he talked about it all summer.

Finally, come fall, the cousins found time to start the job. I thought to myself, "Phew!" (which just about sums up most of the deep thoughts of which I am capable).

Well, let me tell you, "phew" was the wrong choice of 'thought-word'. It shoulda been "Acck!" Why? All fall (did I mention all fall?), I heard about the hole.

Anything from "Dey not doing it right" to "Dey doing a good job but I help them along a leetle beet" to "dey taking so long" to "whatyagotdatssweet?"

And almost nightly, my dad would visit his hole. My husband and I (we stayed with him all summer - in between a move from our condo to a house) would hear odd scraping noises and weird sounds coming from outside the house...around the perimeter....so my husband would sneak outside to take a look, and then I'd hear him yelling "Your dad's in the hole!" So I'd run outside to see for myself, and there he would be... 6 feet down... messing around in the hole.... cleaning it...scraping it... loving and hugging it and calling it George....

I swear...one night... around 7pm... I heard "bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do...whatcha gonna do when they come for you" emerging from the hole. I'm convinced my dad installed a tv and a mini fridge in his hole so he could hang out there all night.

Linus has his security blanket... my dad had his hole... until closing day.... when the blanket of dirt took away from him his secret hiding spot.

If I've learned one thing from this whole (hole?) experience... it's that there are no alien life forms in outerspace... they live right here on earth...feigning Italian accents and a love of pasta.

I can take you to their leader...although we may have to do a bit of digging... I believe he's still in the hole....

posted by Joanne @ 11:10 AM