In Space, Size DOES Matter
I have to say... I really feel bad for Pluto. I mean... being stripped of one's ranking... that's just...wrong!
Especially because now I have to erase this mnemonic from my brain:
"My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets"
"My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine" - showed us nine what?? Cookies?? Gumballs?? Dismembered Heads??
If you're gonna un-rank Pluto because it doesn't resemble a real planet, why not strip Dopey of his "Seven Dwarf" ranking? If you think about it, he doesn't LOOK like any of the other dwarfs... he's bald... doesn't have a beard... and he's much younger (which raise the question, I suppose: IS he even a dwarf? Which raises yet another question: Do the Seven Dwarfs like young boys?).
And...along the same lines... why not strip Froggy of his "Little Rascal" ranking? The kid's voice hit puberty (and then some) way before his body... so is there really anything Little Rascally about him?
If we can add a kid to the Brady Bunch (this is a subject for a different blog entry... but what the hell were they thinking by adding Oliver to the mix? Forget cartoon violence inducing intense behavior in young children... Oliver Brady is enough to make you wanna punch the living daylights outta anyone within 3 feet of you!)... if we can add a kid to the "Cosby Show"...and pretend their a real "Cosby" or a real "Brady", then we can add Pluto back into the mix. Poor little guy...never had a chance.
I'd like to say it's not the size of the planet but the magic in it... but in outerspace, unfortunately, size DOES matter.
And so starts the insanity...or maybe I should say, and so CONTINUES the insanity...cuz in this world... insanity is an endless loop:
Pluto Loses Designation, Sues IAU
(There are some great comments to the above article. The following are 3 that I found quite funny):
Pluto is not a "dwarf" planet. Let's be more sensitive here. It's just "size-challeged."
Posted by: Stephen Cram | August 25, 2006 02:17 PM
Hey - does this make all of you planets if I think the universe revolves around ME?
Posted by: Center of it all | August 25, 2006 03:13 PM
Pluto, suffering from planet envy, sues. Film at eleven.
Posted by: Debbi Atkinson | August 25, 2006 02:36 PM
Aside from me to the universal powers that be:
While you're going around changing things, can you change the name of Uranus? Cuz my husband's favorite inter-galactic joke is "on a clear night, I can see Uranus." And I hear it over and over and over again....
posted by Joanne @ 12:30 PM
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