In the recent light of the latest Harry Potter novel - "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince", it has come to my attention that these books are pure evil. Since I don't have a life, I have had the time to read and reread these books... forwards and backwards.
I have intellectually and intelligently concluded that we need to get these books off the shelves and get kids focused on important things again like reality tv shows and what Paris Hilton is wearing.
I made the following observations whilest reading said books.
1. The name Harry Potter - Cantcha see the cymbalism inherent in that name? Hello! Observe: "Hurry...
2. Quidditch - Again....cymbalic - the message is blatant: "Quick! Ditch (school)
3. The mere mention of a dragon - can one not see-eth that if you rearrange the letters and drop one... there is a GONAD hidden within? What was that wild bohemian nymphomaniacical woman thinking!!! Does she not realize how easily influenced children are? We will have a population of gonad-grabbing youngsters with no respect for their private parts!
4. The title of her first book - "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" - if you remove most of the letters and rearrange 5 of them, there's a PENIS in there! She is promoting that young boys everywhere display theirs in public... and then go out and get stoned on pot!
5. And what about "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" - I'm sure there's a breast in there somewhere! It's so obvious if you, again, rearrange the letters whilest dropping many. What kind of message is she sending to young girls everywhere!! Breast-enhancement jobs will be on the rise!
6. Even more outrageous: "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" - why not just name one of her charcters Master Bates!!! Then we wouldn't have to spend so much precious time rearranging letters and dropping some!
7. Lastly, and most importantly, if you read the book backwards - it's not about black magic and wizards as some would have you believe. It's all about SEX! Pure unadulterated, hot and steamy, downright sultry sex (excuse me ...I'm having a moment....even us adults are hooked on these books...no wonder!)
I would bet my intelligence of which I have plenty as you can see from my above argumentatively sound and logical points that JK Rowling has stock in Pampers, and her masterplan is to encourage sex amongest our youth so that we see an increase in teenage pregnancies which will, in turn, skyrocket the sale of Pampers and thus increase her bank account! It's always about the money, your Royalness Highness!
Please invest the valuable time to investigate and remove such literature from our world instead of wasting time doing other not so valuable things. We have enough commandments.
Sincerely,
A Concerned and Intelligent Muggle
posted by Joanne @ 10:58 AM
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